ZERO CONTAIN EVERYTHING

Call His Wife Every Cute Name Tom was invited to his friend's house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby. When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, I think it is nice you still call your wife all those pet names. To tell you the truth," his friend said, "I forgot her name abut three years ago."

Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today. Wife : Wow, what did you ask for darling? Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.... Wife : Oh...darling.. Love you so much.... Did he do that? Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning

In college days.. She came into my life .. I kept looking at her. She smiled.., Yet I kept quiet.. She began 2 speak.., I dint listen - And when she began 2 leave.. I started running behind her requesting . . . . Mam' mam' mam attendance

One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!" "Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what about the other?" "They called back!

I Was In The Restaurant Yesterday When I Suddenly Realized, I Desperately Needed To Pass Gas. The Music Was Really, Really Loud, So I I Timed My Gas With The Beat Of The Music. After A Couple Of Songs, I Started To Feel Better. I Finished My Coffee, And Noticed That Everybody Was Staring At Me. Then I Suddenly Remembered That I Was Listening To My iPod

Never Loose Confident Boy Can There Be Anything Worse than Losing A Girlfriend ? Old Man Replied :- Yes... . . . . . Losing Your Confidence of Finding Another One!

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favourite bar. asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, "Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!" "No it's because you¿re drinking MY BEER!"

Patient: Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Doctor: Do you smoke? Patient: No Doctor: Do you eat to much? Patient: No Doctor: Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? Patient: No Doctor: Then why would you want to live more than 100 years

Ramu was in a job interview, The manager handed his laptop to him and said "Try to sell it to me." Ramu put it under his arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually the manger called to ramu mobile and said "Bring it back here right now!" Ramu said, "Give me 30,000 and it's yours."

Boy asked his dad for a bike Dad: Why did god give you 2 legs? Boy: "One to change gear & other to apply break." Youngster Rocks... Parents Shock....

Mom: Why did you came home from school so early, son? Son: Because I was the only one who answered a question in my class Mom: Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question? Son: "Who threw the trash can at principal's head?"

Boy to Father: "Baap idhar aa jaa..." Mother: "Aise nahi bolte beta...." Daddy ko izzat se bulate hai... Boy: :"Baap izzat se idhar aa jaa..."

Wife: I'm already 48, yet, one of your friend still prises and finds me attractive. Husband: Must be that suresh bhai !!  Wife: Exactly ! How did you know?? Husband: He's a "scrap dealer...

Granda "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!" Kid: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?"  Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."  Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

... Tabi Police aa ghayi... Gajodhar daudkar police ki gaadi me baith gaya... Police: Hum tumhe pakadne aaye toh tum apne aap gaadi me kyun baith gaye...? Gajodhar: Last time main pakda gaya tha toh mujhe gaadi me khade hokar jaana pada tha...!

Bro 1: Why did your Dad beat you, bro? Bro 2: I learned just one essay for the English exam that is "Friend". But in the exam they asked for essay on "Father". Bro 1: So what did you write? Bro 2: I just replaced Friend with Father. "I have lots of Fathers, some of them are male and some are females. But Krishna is my best Father". 

 A B C Avoid Boring Company.. D E F Dont Entertain Fools.. G H I Go for High Ideas . J K L M Just Keep a friend like ME.. N O P Never Overlook the Poor n suffering.. Q R S Quit Reacting to Silly tales.. T U V Tune Urself for ur Victory.. W X Y Z We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

"I have an interesting case here," he says. "A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested her?" asks the sergeant. "No, not yet. The floor¿s still wet."