ZERO CONTAIN EVERYTHING

Call His Wife Every Cute Name Tom was invited to his friend's house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby. When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, I think it is nice you still call your wife all those pet names. To tell you the truth," his friend said, "I forgot her name abut three years ago."

Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today. Wife : Wow, what did you ask for darling? Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.... Wife : Oh...darling.. Love you so much.... Did he do that? Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Granda "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!" Kid: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?"  Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."  Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

 A B C Avoid Boring Company.. D E F Dont Entertain Fools.. G H I Go for High Ideas . J K L M Just Keep a friend like ME.. N O P Never Overlook the Poor n suffering.. Q R S Quit Reacting to Silly tales.. T U V Tune Urself for ur Victory.. W X Y Z We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?

A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"

Because he felt crummy. How do you get a Kleenex to dance? Put a little boogey in it. Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot? He couldn't face defeet

...... 1. Watching the girls around. 2. Sighting the Lady Superviser. 3. Counting How Many Windows & Doors. 4. Seeing the brand name of the pen. 5. Reading everything writen on benches. 6. Feelings for wasting yesterday night. 7. Dreaming to study well for next E xam. 8. Calculating again &again d Marks he can get, out of what ever he has writen. 9. Thinking abuse words for the paper setter.. 10. Watching the blank ans. Sheets .

A child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey. The child replied innocently:Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.

Antibody - One who hates his body . 2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings. 3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . 4. Coma - Punctuation Mark . 5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl . 6. Genes - Blue Denim. 7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work . 8. Liposuction - A French Kiss . 9. Ultrasound - Radical Sound . 10. Cardiology - Advanced Study of Playing Cards .!

Americans have Invented one Machine to catch the Thieves. And They have decided to test the Machine throughout the world. In America, It caught 20 Thieves in 30 minutes. In Japan, It caught 50 Thieves in 30 minutes. In England, It caught 90 Thieves in 30 minutes. In Ghana, It caught 120 Thieves in 30 minutes. In Russia, It caught 150 Thieves in 30 minutes. And finally The Machine reached India, But in India, the Machine was stolen by Thieves in 10 Minutes

Man to very beautiful Air Hostess:- "What's your name?" Air Hostess: "Eva Benz.." Man           : "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Air Hostess: (smiling)  "Maintenance cost is same"

याद है उस ट्रेन की धक्का-मुक्की मे जब टकराए थे एक खूबसूरत लड़की से; .. वो बोली,"जानवर हो क्या?" ..... हम बोले,"जान तो तुम हो, हम तो वर हैं।" :p :p :p :p 

3 People after death reached heaven and were standing before the gates 1st person: I am Poojari and I served you all my life God, let me come inside. God: Next.... 2nd Person: I am a Doctor, I have saved lives of many people and served them... let me come inside... God: Next.... 3rd Person: I am an Engineer... God: Enough, now don't let me get tears... I know you have spent all your life in hell, its your time to enter into heaven... come in...